10 April 2012

Where You Go From Here

It's funny, the old stuff you find hiding on Facebook.  I like to brag that I joined Facebook very early on, just after it was opened up to all college students.  Back then you actually had to have a valid, current student e-mail address from a university in order to be allowed to make an account.  That year I had walked on to the baseball team at a local University, and I only found out about it because it was most popular among student-athletes.  To cut down on this tangent, let's just say I have 7 years of Facebook activity on the Timeline layout.

Somehow tonight, I ended up on the Facebook page that lists all of the "Groups" I've joined.  Without quite going back seven years I came across a group titled "Hannah's Mission."  It was kind of intriguing, especially I thought I had found everything in "The Great Purge", but apparently not.  I followed the link to find there were three members in the group, Hannah, her mother, and myself.  I won't lie, I Facebook stalked Hannah a lil' bit.

Instead of making me nostalgic, regretful, whatever, I actually felt happy.  Maybe it's the true her, or maybe it's the natural personality compromise we all make in relationships, whatever it is, I immediately thought about how much of a great fit Mirage is for me.  

To give Hannah the credit she deserves, when we were dating, she embraced my silliness, goofiness, and nerdiness.  Well at least the amount that she saw.  Using my time with Mirage as context, while I let my guard around those areas of myself down, it was never truly dropped with Hannah.  I never felt I could expose her to the brunt of the wave.

With Mirage on the other-hand I feel like I've even pushed myself to my limits and, not only does Mirage accept it but, she actually embraces it, and loves me more for it.  Sometimes I feel like Mirage discounts how much that means to me, but it's quite liberating.

In my past I've thought a lot about that song, "Don't Know What You've Got 'til it's Gone" and I've accepted it as true.  Recently, however, I've been thinking about the term "Ignorance is Bliss."  You can't miss something you've never had.  When I started this blog two years ago Hannah was the best girlfriend I'd ever had, there's no denying that.  

I truly thought we'd make the long haul, and that I'd be happy with her forever.  When she came home and wasn't interested, it nearly destroyed me.  By supporting her choice to serve a mission I had VOLUNTARILY given away the best thing that had ever happened to me.  That is, so far...

I can definitely say that every girlfriend I've ever had has been an improvement on the one prior.