24 December 2010

The Good-enoughs

I've seen it more and more, and I don't like it.  Books, movies, fake TV psychologists.  There seems to be a big trend in telling people they aim too high these days.  I strongly disagree.  Sure I think some people do aim way too high, but usually that seems to me to be a result of an inaccurate sense of self.  I'm a realist, I know anyone CAN'T get anyone else.  When people say someone is "out of your league" I picture  leagues like some sort of caste system, where little movement is tolerated, dating up or down a league is about all that's socially acceptable.  Even so, I don't think any one should "settle" for anyone else, but instead should be more realistic about themselves.

I'm a very picky person, probably why this blog seems to me to be pretty boring and uneventful.  Tonight I ran across THIS blog post by someone who has commented here a few times, and it made me laugh, mostly because if you switch the gender roles of the post I'm WAY too picky.  For example:

  • "You have a height requirement"
    • I do indeed, it's the 5'4" minimum
  •  "Bad Spelling is a dealbreaker"
    • As well as bad grammar and the use of an inordinate amount of typonese
  • "No way you're dating [her] - [She's] the youngest child!"
    • Ok nothing like this, I just find it interesting that every girl I've dated has been a youngest child.
  • "Your future [wife] must have a masters degree too" 
    • Maybe not a Masters, but she'd probably need to have or soon receive an under-grad degree.
  •  "You’ve broken up with someone because their neck hair bothered you (and you didn’t even tell him)"
    • I believe I've mentioned breaking up with Ashley when she got an 18 on the ACT; of course that wasn't the only reason, just the "final straw."
  •  "You tend to do all the rejecting"
    • I've only been dumped once?
  • "You won’t even consider going on a date with [her] because [she] still lives with [her] parents"
    • Ok, this isn't a dealbreaker but I'd definitely worry if she'd never lived away from home.
  • "You have a list, but it tends to eliminate candidates instead of highlight the positive attributes they have that you are seeking "
    • As a matter of fact I think my "list" is crafted specifically to eliminate candidates and highlight their negative attributes, my list since high school has evolved into less of a set of "desires" and more into a group of "can't stands"
 I guess I feel justified.  I don't expect any more out of prospects than I do from myself.  I don't think being picky is bad, being unrealistic considering your own circumstances is, as is holding your dates to higher expectations than you do yourself.  From personal experience, the few dates I've been on where my date seemed to feel too good for me, seemed to not be good enough for me from my perspective.


Anonymous said...

I wouldn't call it picky necessarily, I'd call it "refined taste." There's nothing wrong with know what you want!

Madi said...

Oh brother, I'm very picky.