25 November 2011

Thankfulness

It's that time of year where everyone talks about what they're thankful for.  Pretty much everyone always leaves something or someone out.  I didn't want to leave anything out, so I thought about it for a long time and figured out one thing I'm faithful for that covers everything.


I am thankful for Karmic Fate.


Over two years ago, when Hannah was first talking about going on a mission I didn't want her to go.  Our relationship was my best one yet, honestly it was to the point where you start to have thoughts like, "What if we got married..." and things like that.  However, when we talked about it, I felt like it was the right thing for her to do, everything about it just made sense.  So I supported her, not because it was necessarily what I wanted, but because I knew it to be right.


Well Hannah left, time passed, then about the beginning of February I started to get letters that indicated things between us weren't going well.  I became angry.  I guess I felt like, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, what was right, and it doesn't matter, things still go poorly.  I guess I felt betrayed by the system.


Then Hannah got home, things were worse, and I felt even more angry and betrayed.  Here I had done what I felt was right and doing what was right had become more of a sacrifice than I was willing to give.  It didn't seem fair.


Then suddenly, and inexplicably, just when I was approaching that cliff, everything turned around.  Almost immediately after realizing things weren't getting better now that Hannah was home I was given quidditch.  I mean what are the odds that the captain of the quidditch team would end up on my IM flag football team?


Then right before Hannah drops off the face of the planet I meet Mirage, someone who I was honestly more intrigued by than Hannah at the time.  So much so, that part of my brain is tellin the other half that I should be freaking out over a girl I dated for a year and a half just discarding me like an old newspaper, and the other is saying, "whatevs."  It's  just all coincidental timing, and I don't believe in coincidences.


These were just the latest incidences.  I could also point out the perfect timing that came with meeting Smartypants.  After a year of waiting, when I really needed someone I could just talk to, or argue with.  I now consider Smartypants one of my closest friends.


Then there was Bangs McCoy, whom I met on the home stretch, when I really just needed someone to be with.  Bangs has moved now, and we don't talk as much as I'd like, but she was right there for me and invited me over every night when I just needed someone to be around.


Yes, I've been lucky over the last year, I must admit.  I know that I don't talk about spiritual matters much here, but it's truly been a testimony building experience.  That by doing what is right, what you're supposed to do, won't be forsaken.  There's a poem I like to think about whenever I hit a rough patch, many people may have heard it, but I use it to remind me that help is always there for you when you need it:



One night a man had a dream. He dreamed 
he was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.


He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it:

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied:
"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

8 comments:

singlemormonchick said...

:)

Sara @ Struggling Happiness said...

Yes! I'm glad Bangs was mentioned. I think she'd be pissed if she wasn't in there somewhere...!!!!

Sara @ Struggling Happiness said...

P to the S, does mirage know about this blog???

Madi said...

I love that poem, and I'm so glad you finally see what I've seen through this whole adventure! All those people you have mentioned have been blessings in your life. I also have always wondered if you ever stopped to realize that maybe you were a blessing in others lives as well; maybe through this blog, or school, or work. I'm sure you have touched someones life in some way, I just know it!

Mirage said...

@ Sara, Mirage is in the picture BECAUSE of this blog. :)

Smartypants said...

WOSAM meets all the ladies through the blog.

Waited For a Sister Missionary said...

Thanks... It's totally inadvertent, though.

Mirage said...

Bahahahahaha and TOTALLY TRUE.