07 May 2011

Concerning Hannah

I've gotten several e-mails and questions regarding what's going on with Hannah, whether I'm still waiting, and what the plan is when she gets home.  Since I realize I haven't really mentioned her much recently, here goes...

  • How much longer until Hannah comes home?
Hannah is in the last area of her mission most like likely, since there are only about 2 more transfers until she gets home.  The countdown on the top of the page is still mostly accurate.

  • Do you and Hannah still write each other?
We still write, just a lot less.  We had been writing every week for two-thirds of her mission but we've dropped to only writing on weeks we get a letter, which thanks to USPS international mail, customs and Canadian Post usually means we're getting 1-2 letters a month.

  • Are you still waiting for Hannah?
I don't know if I'm still waiting, or ever have been.  I always said I'd keep an open mind about dating other people, and I've been on several dates when I've found ladies I've been interested in dating.

  • What is the plan when Hannah gets home?
When Hannah gets home she'd like to "just be friends", which if you've ever seen When Harry Met Sally you all know to be impossible.  Though she says we'll see if something more develops again.

  • What does "see if anything develops" mean?  
I don't know either.  It would seem that if things worked out well before, that we parted on good terms, and that no other significant person is in the mix, that getting back together is almost inevitable.

  • Is this a real blog or are you just being an idiot?
It's most definitely real.  I've changed most specific facts, names dates, places, time frames, mostly by very small amounts just to throw people I know off the trail.  But yes, this story is accurate +/- a couple weeks.

  • Are you and Hannah going to get married?
I suppose it's possible.  Waiting for a missionary doesn't necessarily mean you're getting married, it's something I wish I could tell all the people here, especially the 18 year old girls who've been waiting 20 days and are already whining.  Good luck with life.

  • How are you going to get Hannah back?
Nothing?  As forward thinking as I try to be I've had to accept that you can't really control what other people do or think, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.  That's why, as I have for the last 16 months I'm playing a reactive game, I'm on defense.  There's nothing I can do now, and there's nothing I can plan to do 2 months from now.  So we'll wait and see.

  • Do you have any advice on waiting for my boyfriend/girlfriend?
Step 1.  Stop calling them that, they're missionaries, they're now asexual beings.  Step 2.  Get a life, thinking and crying about missionaries will only make the next 18 or 24 months seems even longer.  Step 3.  Get ready for it not to work out.  That's a long amount of time, people grow up and change, odds are one of you is going to decide you've changed too much to keep going.  Step 4.  Don't wait.  I'm not angry, or jilted, or bitter, I'm being honest.  Let me break it down rationally.  You wait and it doesn't work:  You're going to be pissed and cry that you "wasted" your last couple years waiting when you could have been dating other people.  You wait and it works out:  Congratulations.  Now you're both romantically and socially awkward.  You didn't really grow at all in that sense, because you didn't practice your dating skill set, like flirting, dating etc.  So now you're both stunted, which probably means you're perfect for each other, but at the same time, neither of you knows any better.

  • What will happen to this blog once Hannah is home?
I haven't decided yet.  It may just end because it will have served it's purpose buy giving me a place to vent so that I don't look whiney in real-life.  I guess I could always change the title of the blog and keep writing about my thoughts and feelings.  Finally I know "some" readers think this will morph into a marriage blog for Hannah and I.  I assure you the latter is not the case, first because I don't plan to marry anyone for years to come, and last I refuse to allow my future spouse to write a marriage blog, I will not bow to that cliche.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for your statement that waiting doesn't necessarily mean you're getting married. And advocating that we need to live our lives and not dwell on the missionary being gone. And yes, I agree, this does include dating.

I am currently writing a missionary, but I am not forgetting to live my life too. I cannot even imagine putting my life on hold and the kind of existence that would be. I think this post is something a lot of the girls on the Facebook page need to read and consider, without being defensive.


ashley @ divorced and 21 said...

dear kind new best friend..
sometimes when you come over to my house you leave popcorn here...
then I eat it..
it tastes yummy in my tummy.
I owe you popcorn.

Anonymous said...

I think you're imaginary.