25 January 2011

Telling Secrets

I mentioned last week's serious letter from Hannah.  One thing she said was how she felt trust and communication were very important to her in a FEC, and that together we are good at both.

She said that I'm the first guy that she has dated that she felt she could talk about and tell anything.  I KNOW that she's the first girl I've been that way with.  In general, I'm an open person, there's nothing about myself I'm afraid to talk about if it comes up, save one thing.  I have a secret, and with every girl I've dated I've kept it, until Hannah.  I would assume that trying to keep this thing hidden has contributed to the failure of previous relationships.  I also now feel that divulging the secret would have resulted in the same endings anyway.  It's a thing I've kept hidden from everyone but my family until recently, I think telling Hannah, and her accepting it and me, has made me feel like I can be more open about it.  Of course some people weren't as accepting as others and there have been acquaintances that have dissolved as the news has gotten out, but that's life.  You can't keep secrets for that long, eventually pieces of them start getting out, it's one of the reasons I believe in courting for so long before you get engaged.  Of course after reading what I just wrote, that strategy has, in the past, most likely been my eventual undoing.

I guess the difference between now and then is that, before I didn't think any girl would ever accept this secret, I was told they wouldn't, but Hannah has shown me that there are those girls out there that will.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am in the same exact boat as you. I too had a secret that I never opened up to many people about, and then I told my ex (who is now my really good friend). It was hard to tell him, but once I did it made our relationship almost better and closer. Trust is huge, and if you feel like you can trust someone enough to tell your secrets to, then that is a big indicator of a successful relationship. That is one of the reasons why I don't understand how people date for 2 weeks and get engaged. That doesn't make any sense to me because you can't possibly know someone well enough in 2 weeks to decide if you can spend eternity together. Eternity is a long time, which I know you are well aware of! :)