Most of my friends will tell you I'm cocky, and I could afford to be knocked down a couple of notches. However, I'm well aware of my short-comings. I like to keep my short-comings light, though, and remind myself that you can't win 'em all.
I feel like there are five spheres of my personal life: Social, Academic, Romantic, Athletic, Career, and I have to allocate my success to each. It seems a lot of the time I'll have zero success in one sphere in exchange for slightly more success in the other spheres. Currently I'm having zero success in the romance department, I feel like I'm not interested in the people who are interested in me, and that the people I am interested are shedding points like crazy recently. I don't feel like I can really complain too much, I mean school and work is going well, I've made more friends through quidditch in the last month than I have overall in the last couple years.
I think the problem is that I KNOW I'm being too picky when it comes to who I'm interested in. I wish I wasn't having luck with dating because I'm being who I am(well, scratch that, I'm pretty sure quidditch has been hurting my chances with people...), but the main reason is simply that I'm too picky. I'm a George Costanza, I meet girls that seem cool, then I scrutinize their every flaw until I'm not interested. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily focusing on small flaws, but it comes back to the issue I always have, I'm looking for that perfect balance of qualities I look for. While I find girls who are awesome, I always find something missing that I want. I don't really know what to do apart from just forgetting about dating for a while. Sounds good!
In other news, I had lunch with Hannah today. We went to a little Greek place near campus which was actually amazing, I forgot how much grilled salmon is superior to broiled and I decided I may need to invest in a little charcoal barbeque. During the course of the meal as we were talking Hannah mentioned that there was someone she was interested in. Cool. I pretty much went into this mode of thinking where I become completely aware of what my face looks like, and I alter my facial expression to hide what I'm actually thinking. To be honest it hurt a little, it's the old "It's not that she didn't want to be with anyone, it's that she didn't want to be with me." kind of thing. Luckily for me I recovered from the staggering blow, at my job you get skilled at acting like you care when you really don't, so I asked questions as if I were interested, even though I wasn't. Good times.
Don't get me wrong, Hannah is cool, and I care about her a lot and want her to be happy in the long run, but let's face it, I've joined the dark side, I was angry, defiant, etc. so I went home and channeled that emotion for good by getting in a (too) difficult workout and more food.
Did I mention I leave for New York City in 2.5 weeks with the Quidditch team? It's pretty sweet, I'm excited to go back to the City, we have some sweet touristy things planned along with winning the world cup. I'm counting the days...