Before Hannah had left I did some research on this "waiting for a missionary" thing. Unfortunately I quickly found out that I don't know anyone who pulled it off. That was kind of a bummer, I mean my older sister came closest to anyone I knew by getting married about two weeks after her missionary got home "just to see." However, my sister and I don't exactly have the kind of relationship where we can talk about our feelings openly with each other, our age gap placed me right between the younger-brother-you-can-hangout-with and the cute-little-brother ranges, which made me just plain annoying. On top of that my sister and brother-in-law were pretty much fated to be together, I mean how do you get set up on blind dates with the same guy by two unrelated people?
Well, anyway, I wanted some insight into this experience I was about to have so I had an idea about what to expect. I figured the best way to find out how to succeed was to ask other people why they failed and avoid all those things. All the girls I asked seemed to say similar things, mostly I got, "I got to the point where I 'needed' someone." I've never been the kind of person to "need" someone, in the past I've averaged about nine months between a break up and the next first date. It's not that I dwell on the past relationship(except for the one with Liz, but I think the first time you're dumped is a unique experience.) or that I'm relieved to be 'free' again. I'd say it's more of a cross between wanting to avoid a rebound and taking the opportunity to grow and mature independent of another person.
Now it's only been three weeks, Hannah left the MTC for Vancouver today(Wow, it's already been three weeks?) and I'm already starting to feel what can only be described as The Yearning. I wouldn't say it's a 'need' it's more of a feeling intense want. I think what has made this separation so hard is that I know both parties would be together otherwise, unlike a normal break up. This feeling is strongest when I'm out around girls, especially while I'm at work since at my place of employment are many girls who are on the same career path Hannah was. On the other hand, I don't really yearn when I'm just at the house hanging out, maybe that's a good excuse for me to become a hermit for the next 17.25 months.
Unless I can think of anything better and more exciting(which will be tough! haha) I might give a little insight into me next time, it may help since I know I'll probably refer to past events a lot over the remaining months, kind of like a glossary.