"...just rubs people the wrong way."

I had some friends over celebrating First Contact Day.  I met all of these friends separately, so being the common link I ended up being the butt of most of the jokes.  At some point it was brought up what my friend Eric thought of me the first time we met, which of course began a landslide of similar stories.


It made me wonder about first impressions.  I've always felt like I have a very broad range of first impressions.  Some people love me immediately, others hate me.  In the end it's pretty rare for people to hate me, I joke that I could even win over my evil twin if I felt inclined to do so.  Really, reports on my first impression on people ranges from being an angry, cocky douche-bag to having women try to set me up with their daughters after two minutes of chatting.

I think one thing that contributes to this is my standard facial expression.  Think about what your facial expression is when you're doing homework, sitting in class, standing around at work or just watching TV.  I think mine is a pretty serious face, usually because I'm thinking hard about things, but I think that contributes.   I know I have ADD, I get lost in thought quite a bit.  It's always a little embarrassing for me when dates or girlfriends ask me what I'm thinking about when I look distant, usually because it holds no connection to what's going on around us.  For Scrubs fans I'd say I'm a little like JD, someone can say something, or I can see something, that triggers a thought in my brain and I'm off.


For those of you who are unfamiliar, here are some samples:





Unfortunately, I don't usually have that dreamy look on my face when my mind wanders, I think mine is much more serious, like I might headbutt something at any moment.


Another issue is probably that before I get to know someone I'm cautious which I think comes off as standoffish, indifferent, probably a little superior.  I have learned the more I share about myself the more comfortable I feel.  I recently learned this when I got a job I was very under-qualified for, I still contribute getting hired because I offered up my nerdy side freely, which made me feel more comfortable rather than nervous and scared.  Plus I think people realize when you're telling them something that's a little secret and think more of you for doing so.


So far only one person knows I write this blog.  I wonder if people would even realize I write this if they met me; or if people I know read this if they'd realize it was me.