22 May 2010

Backwards K

I got the text I always knew was coming, but have refused to accept.  Liz needed my address for wedding announcements...


It's funny, we've had a text conversation about every other month or so since we broke up, and never do I feel like more of a complete idiot than the end of those nights.  All through our relationship I played indifference about Liz to Hannah, now I'm starting to feel like I should let Hannah in on the truth.


I still don't understand why Liz holds this place for me, maybe it's the fact that she was the first person I really let in.  It could also be that she was the first person to dump me, and on top of that I was dumped for something completely avoidable and stupid on my part, and I know it.  It's also possible that she represents a point in my life when things were really good.  That last part sounds really bad, considering how great things with Hannah went, it was a different time, one I still look back on with a lot of fondness, I think considering most of that time involved Liz she has come to embody the whole thing.


I'll admit, I'm jealous.  The worst is I really doubt her marriage will bring me any closure, I feel like she's going to be a thorn in my side for plenty of time to come.

4 comments:

singlemormonchick said...

NO!!!!! do. not. tell. hannah. with all my big sisterly or cougar authority(whichever carries the most weight with you) do not bring this up to hannah. i am not telling you to keep it a secret, but what i am saying is that you need to consider WHY you want to tell her? do you feel guilty because you still love(or you think you do)liz? do you need to vent these feelings to a trusted friend and hannah fits that bill? either way. trying to ease your guilt by telling hannah your feelings of jealousy over liz getting married is selfish. she is serving a mission and cant do anything about it-puts her in a supremely awkward position and could make her feel horrible and distract her from the work she is committed to do. if its the friend thing-you need to buck up, put your big boy panties on and find another friend to commiserate with you on the details of how the relationship with liz got screwed up. IF you are still feeling the same way by time hannah gets home, THEN talk to her about it. it wouldnt be cool to enter a relationship/marriage with that kind of baggage.
i was going to give you my two cents, but it looks like you got a buck 42 :)

Claire said...

Yeah, I'm just going to say "ditto" to the general idea of what singlemormonchick said. I can't imagine any of my guy friends getting married, much less one I actually dated. Its going to be weird. Good luck with the whole situation... I hope it does give you some closure!


Also... we should be friends. That is all. :)

Waiting On A Sister Missionary said...

Well I'm not going to tell her now. I don't even tell her about dates I go on with random girls, even though she specifically told me to.

On second thought, maybe I should tell her about all those things, my letters are probably pretty boring...

singlemormonchick said...

imagine me rolling my eyes at you.