08 May 2010

Guys and Gals

I have a really close girl friend that's getting married in a month or so.  I know I've said men and women can't be friends because the snookie gets in the way.  Well this story is no different.  Donna and I met back in high school, when one of my baseball buddies brought her to a dance.  They were old family friends, they went way back, I remember at our activity how cool she seemed.  A month or so later she started dating another one of my baseball buddies(yeah, that's how we roll).  They dated for a few months and then my buddy cheated on her(yeah he's one of my more douchey friends) and they broke up.  During the time they dated, though, a few of us really got to know and like Donna, so she'd come to our games to support us, and from time to time a few of us would get together.

Over time I developed a pretty huge crush on Donna, but this was during the time I was dating Ashley, who absolutely hated Donna, even before this crush developed.  Ashley probably hated Donna so much because they were both girls; Donna was super cool, laid-back, and attractive; Ashley was crazy, paranoid, possessive, and a lying cheater, so the hatred was automatic.

Years passed, I still got together with Donna from time to time, we were good supportive friends.  I was usually the guy that got a call when she got dumped.  Really my crush on Donna only built during this time.  I found myself getting jealous every time she got into a relationship, and angry every time one ended.  Of course I don't think she saw any of this.

Finally, one night in the dorms I was feeling especially bold, I finally told her how I felt.  Her response?  "I've known for a while, but I think we're better off just as friends, I don't want to risk it."  Well that's a pretty big blow to the male ego.  I didn't talk to Donna for probably about a month after that, I was very confused and a little bit hurt.  It's hard, especially with someone you're close with to stick yourself out there like that and get rejected.  After a lot of self reflection I realized the whole situation came down to one decision: What was more important my Pride or my relationship with Donna.  Once I thought about it that way I felt pretty stupid.

So that's how men and women can be friends, eventually someone wants it to be more, and you either get past it or your friendship ends.  Luckily I didn't have that long to sulk because about two months later I started dating Liz.

Anyway, So Donna is getting married in a month or so.  The other night we were talking, I asked about their plans(I always have to know people's "plan").  She said they're just going to enjoy the married life for a few years before they start to think about kids, which I completely support.  But I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I get these feelings, or hunches, about people.  Surprisingly, they're usually right.  I told Donna that I think they'll have a kid within 14 months of marriage which she denied.  So I told her that if it happens she has to name her first-born after me.  My name is pretty unique, so if I can get her to agree it will be really obvious, plus I've always wanted someone to name their child after me, I think that's the greatest honor.  She's resisting, but I'm going to keep pestering her about it.


singlemormonchick said...

having someone name their child after you is really cool. a cousin of mine named one of her daughters after me. i have a somewhat unique name with a very unique spelling, so it was extra cool. in my point of view, anyway.
listen, you are young and probably so much more advanced than old fogies like myself, but i am willing to bet when she has that kid in 14 months(i think you are right on that one)she wont even tell you for a few weeks.
marriage is a club and she will be in it and you wont be. i am assuming she is lds and that makes it worse.
sounds like you have a good friendship with her,but unless you have an equally good relationship with her fiance, you are probably losing a friend.

Waiting On A Sister Missionary said...

Club? Try epidemic!

I already have experience with this, most of my buddies let me in as long as I have a date or significant other, but since I'm single for the moment I'm on my own.

I really hate this mentality, like now that you're married you're suddenly transformed into the different species, or but into the next highest caste.

The worst was Hannah's sister, which is funny because I consider myself very skilled at getting along with the family. This girl and her husband push my buttons, and that's pretty rare. In fact, the more I think about it I'll save the rest of the story for a blog post. Especially after seeing them today and the treatment I recieved...

Claire said...

I think the whole "I don't want to risk our friendship" thing is dumb. If you try to be in a relationship and it doesn't work out, to the point that you can't even be friends... well... at least you tried. Its not like, once you get married, you'll have the same relationship with them. That would wrong. I'm not saying you can't be friends with someone of the opposite sex once you are married, but I don't think it would be the same anyway, so what's the big deal? And if it does work out...great, fabulous, perfect.